The Alchemist: Knicker Twister

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Fill a mixing glass halfway full with ice cubes. Add the vermouths, allspice dram and orange bitters, and stir. Strain into a chilled tumbler. Top with the IPA. Run the lemon twist around the rim, twist it into the drink and drop it in. Serve immediately. — recipe from Beer Cocktails by Howard and Ashley Stelzer


Betcha thought it’d be something patriotic, huh? Sucker. As much as we love the good U-S-of-A (and we do, with the freedom and women’s right to own property and all), this drink is more up our alley than your typical cold domestic brew. And since we love you all so much (except you — you know what you did), here’s a warning: IPAs are for serious beer snobs. This cocktail’s gonna kick you down a flight of stairs, then set your hair on fire. It may bang your mom just for good measure. It’s strong and potentially offensive, is what we’re saying.

Here be dragons, folks — tasty, very bitter dragons — so watch your ass.



While you’re sipping, listen to these ear-splitting, teeth-

spitting bands: Riverboat Gamblers (ex-Denton band makes garage-punk rock ’n’ roll that’ll knock out teeth — literally, once — but leave you pumping your fist and chanting along), Mind Spiders (the buzz-hum of this Denton/Fort Worth power pop/punk outfit’s guitars is the perfect background music for an aural meltdown), Black Sabbath (get those pretty little knickers in a real twist, or just sit back and enjoy the ride, with this iconic British metal foursome).

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