The other day my husband walked into the house armed with packages, "I have been honking the horn for you to unlock the door," he said, juggling parcels on his knee as he pulled his door key out of the lock.
"What have you been doing?"
"I didn't hear you," I replied. "I've been absorbed in reading about the pills we need to take in order to stay healthy."
"What did I just bring home from the health food store?" he inquired.
"Health food," I answered, "But we need stuff to make us healthier because we might not be as healthy as we think."
"How do you figure that?" he asked. "We walk three times a week; we're on a low-fat diet, take vitamins and go to bed at a decent hour."
"I know and we eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables a day, but according to these vitamin and health books we might have poor intestinal health and just think we are healthy. To make sure we don't stay in this unhealthy state that we don't know we are in, we need to take some pills."
"Oh, yea! What?"
"Garlic clove, cat's claw, grape root, licorice root, butcher's broom, red root and horsetail."
"Yes, Equisetum arvense and we also need rosemary leaf, alfalfa, dandelion, barley grass and a whole bunch of weeds."
"Why not pop garlic in your mouth, and go outside and graze?"
"Our yard isn't healthy."
"It needs pills, too?"
"No, it needs other things. That's some of the reason we are in this unhealthy state, but we'll talk about that later. Right now to keep us in a good mood we need to take kava kava and St. John's wort."
"I thought you took warts off. You know, with Compound W."
"Will you be serious? I have a big decision to make," I declared.
"What s that?"
"Well, I want to take all these healthy things in one vitamin, but I don't want to take them in mega doses and so I need to research how many milligrams each formula has."
"Would you even know then?"
"Not exactly," I answered. "In this formula for getting a good night's sleep it has the milligrams for chamomile, peppermint, passion flower, skullcap, B6 and melatonin, but the recommended daily amount has not been established."
"So you might be taking a mega dose?"
"Yes, and that's why I have to investigate."
"Hey," he said, "not that I want to interrupt your deep thinking project, but what is skullcap?"
"Some kind of grass," I answered, deeply absorbed in my research. "Did you know there is a multivitamin that contains all the cancer-fighting vegetables?"
"You don't eat vegetables? Only take a pill?"
"No, you take two pills with each meal while you eat your vegetables, but they have lots of other stuff in them. See," I said, holding up the book and pointing to the page, "they have copper, chromium, zinc and all that metal stuff. They have the — A,B,C,D,E — alphabet vitamins. They even have whole foods — garlic, green tea and black pepper."
"Those are whole foods?" he asked. "What happened to steak and potatoes?"
"This is serous. Did you know unless we correct our vitamin and mineral deficiency, it may lead to a breakdown of the metabolic processes in our bodies?"
"If it is that serious, then find us a multivitamin quick," he teased.
After I finished my research and was filling out the order, my husband asked, "Did you find a multivitamin that wasn't in mega doses and you could figure out what was in it?"
"I certainly did," I smiled.
"And what was it?"
Keep Argyle Beautiful will meet at 4:30 p.m. Monday in Holtman Designworks, 403 S. U.S. Highway 377. Keep Argyle Beautiful preserves and enhances the town's natural environment through visit educational and motivational programs and special events. For more information www.keepargylebeautiful.com, or email Amy Bubeck at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Argyle Lions Club meets at noon on the first Tuesday of every month at Coffee Tree Café, 144 Old Town Blvd. in Argyle, and at 6:30 p.m. on the third Tuesday of the month following a board meeting at 5:30 p.m. in the Community Room at Argyle Town Hall, 308 Denton St. For more information, contact Deborah Cottle via email at email@example.com.
The Argyle Chamber of Commerce meets the third Tuesday of every month for breakfast from 7:30 to 9 a.m. at Lantana Golf Club, 800 Golf Club Drive. The chamber office is in PointBank, 302 U.S. Highway 377. For more information, visit www.argylechamber.org or call 940-464-9990.
The Argyle Senior Center meets every Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the Community Room at Argyle Town Hall, 308 Denton St. with exercise beginning at 10 a.m. followed by card games at 11 a.m. The ASC has a monthly luncheon on the third Friday of every month at noon. Those attending are asked to bring a side dish. Anyone age 50 and older is welcome to attend. For more information, call Stella at 940-464-7438 or Karen at 940-464-0506.
LYNN SHEFFIELD SIMMONS is the founder and past president of the North Texas Book Festival Inc. She is the author of 10 children's books and two history books on Argyle. Her website is www.argylebooks.com. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.