Dear readers, thanks for all the prayers and offers of help as I go into this health journey. Below is a peek into the recesses of my brain.
Keep in mind that the Rational Brain (RB) is fully aware of the grace and love of God. The Primitive Brain (PB) still awaits full redemption.
RB: “Isn’t modern medicine wonderful? I’m in the hands of caring, skilled medical personnel who will competently walk me through this.”
PB: “Run! Fast!”
RB: “It was silly to avoid this for so long. What was I thinking?”
PB: “They are going to take a knife to you. Run, fast!”
RB: “I’ve already paid my deductible for this year, so maybe the co-pay won’t completely wipe out my savings.”
PB: “You’ve met your deductible already this year? Run, faster!”
RB: “They’ve promised to make sure I’ve got all the pain meds I need afterward. That’s wonderful!”
PB: “You idiot — they said that because you are going to hurt afterward.”
RB: “Now, I know that they’ll tell me not to make any major decisions while the anesthetic is still in my system. How wise of them to remind me of this.”
PB: “You idiot. While you’ve still got the anesthetic in your system, you won’t know you still have the anesthetic in your system. You’ll probably gamble your children’s inheritance away (if there is any left after you pay the co-pay) thinking you know exactly what you are doing.
RB: “OK, prep time. List all the things I need finished before the surgery. Take care of the highest priorities first. All will be done in calm order.”
PB: “You idiot. There’s no way you’ll be ready. Hurry, quick, race around crazily. Clear that work pile off your desk. Write months of articles in advance. Outline your sermons through December. Clean the house. Weed the garden. Do your taxes!”
RB: “Oh gosh, I haven’t done my taxes yet. No problem — I can easily get an extension form and will send in some extra money just in case.”
PB: “What do you mean, ‘send in some extra money just in case?’ Do you have any idea what your co-pay is going to be? You don’t have any extra. Just shred the tax stuff and forget about it.”
RB: Remember to let my sons know what is going on and to remind them that there is nothing to worry about. They’ve already shown much love and support with calls and e-mails and offers of help. What fine men they’ve grown up to be, responsible, hard-working, caring for their families and living as godly, responsible people.”
PB: “What! You mean those three ungrateful sons of yours aren’t uprooting their lives and all flying to be at your bedside during this life-threatening procedure? So what that one’s wife is expecting a baby any moment and the others are up to their ears in work projects and you are going to see them soon anyway — you are more important!”
RB: “I’m calm, relaxed and nearly ready.”
PB: “You idiot. Have you checked your blood pressure? Do you have any clue that a bunch of strangers are going to strip you naked, knock you unconscious, and invade your private parts? Run away Now! Faster!”
RB: “While there certainly is a possibility that I have cancer, I honestly don’t think so. Soon, I’m going to feel great, well-rested, full of energy and ready to enjoy life, family and ministry.”
PB: “Are you completely out of your mind? Best days are gone for good baby! Feel really sorry for yourself and see if you can make everyone around you miserable as well. Not much time left anyway so don’t bother to care about anyone but yourself.
PB: “About time you hushed up. I’m in charge now.”
God Brain: “No, you are not. I am!”
THE REV. CHRISTY THOMAS is the pastor of First United Methodist Church of Krum. Reach her by calling 940-482-3482 or by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.