Life's little mysteries no longer intrigue me.

With all the miles I have on my odometer, I figure I should have more answers than questions by now.

And I don't, which sort of cheeses me off. How, for example, does that lone sorry grackle flapping above the boiling North Dallas Crawlway always find me one day after I washed my car? And why is traffic on Stemmons so god-awful every Friday at 3 p.m. when most of us should still be at work? (Not that I would have any personal knowledge of this, of course, boss.) And why do construction crews block off 10 miles of road to work on 10 feet of it? Beats me.

But here's one of the biggest mysteries of all: Who came up with the concept for extreme crossovers – and, more important, why?

You know about crossovers in general – those highly popular vehicles that merge the boxy, utilitarian body of an SUV with the lighter, more sophisticated platform of a car. Most of these SUV Lites are about as interesting to me as the new iPhone or myPhone or youPhone or whatever it is. (Whatever you call it, it's exactly what we need, I think – another device to encourage more cellphone drunks on the highway.)

But there's something perversely intriguing about extreme crossovers like the '08 BMW X6 and the '09 Infiniti FX50S – $50,000-plus all-wheel-drive bruisers with sedan/hatchback bodies so exaggerated they look like something Hulk Hogan would drive.

However – and this was a surprise for me – there's more to these car-roids than muscled-up puffery and pretense. Both are fully capable of outrunning most sedans and many sports cars in a straight line. Both have smart, tasteful, upscale interiors. But what's really bizarre is these 5,000-pound porkers can dance, possessing good moves in curves, great brakes and tight steering.

As you know, few crossovers were capable of zero-to-60 sprints in under 6 seconds five years ago – and both of these vehicles can do it all day long. Moreover, BMW claims that the X6 can lap the infamous and difficult Nurburgring track in Germany within a couple of seconds of the last-generation M3 sedan.

In many ways, these two vehicles may say more about what we can achieve with today's automotive technology than six-figure luxo-cruisers like the S-class Mercedes and 7-series BMW.

The X6 I had recently – cloaked in truly fabulous grayish-green paint and strutting menacingly on 20-inch wheels – seemed simultaneously chiseled and huge.

Weighing in at a trucklike 5,000 pounds, the X6 actually has a nicely sculpted sedan body that is vastly more interesting than the slab-sided 5-series BMW sedan – and looks a lot bigger.

Mine had enormous 275/40 tires up front and 315/35s on the rear. With its ultra-tall stance, big tires and broad shoulders, the Six seemed well-suited for off-road excursions at Lord Bottomly's estate, a sort of rich-boy mudder.

Inside, though, the X6 was pure luxury, with four off-white leather bucket seats, a thick, three-spoke leather-covered steering wheel and high-end lightly grained, flat-tone plastic.

Like every BMW, the Six had its electrical eccentricities. Thanks to the infamous i-Drive computerized control system, I was never able to tune the radio to the goofy little local Texana station I kind of like. In addition, the column-mounted electric shift lever was simply atrocious, never once going from park to reverse in one smooth motion and twice getting stuck in neutral.

But the cargo area accessible from the hatchback was big enough for my expansive 67 inches to easily fit inside – if you happen to be heavily involved in organized crime – and the suspension, while firm, was precise and free of harshness. Likewise, the steering and brakes are pretty much what you would expect from BMW – sporting and absolutely first-rate for a crossover.

As always, BMW's turbocharged 3-liter 6-cylinder engine, tied to a great six-speed automatic in the X6, was impressive. BMW insists on underrating the engine at 300 horsepower, but get this: Car and Driver recorded zero-to-60 in a very quick 5.9 seconds and the quarter-mile in 14.6 seconds at 95 mph – numbers that shouldn't be possible in a trucklet lugging 16.6 pounds per horsepower.

Although a little flat on the low end, the engine pulls like a nuclear-powered locomotive from 1,500 rpm to the 7,000 rpm redline.

In addition, the chunky Six is rated at a fairly decent 15 miles per gallon city, 20 highway.

While the all-wheel-drive Infiniti FX50 is not as striking in appearance as the BMW, it can match the hard-charging Six step-for-step – and beat it in many performance categories.

To be honest, I've never cared much for the overly stylized looks of the FX. It's got too many little gangster affectations and heavy-handed touches for me – and you know what crossover connoisseurs we hicks from Denton are.

But in silver with new 21-inch wheels and 265/45 tires, mine was pretty darn imposing. The black interior in the cocky crossover – whose base price is $56,700 – featured a dramatic, swooping dashboard and seats stitched subtly in red.

Despite nice wood trim inside and great legroom in the rear, the FX is not quite up to Audi interior standards. The plastic, I thought, was kind of average. But the Infiniti's fabulous 5-liter, 390-horse V-8 and 7-speed automatic push the FX far above most other crossovers on the market. (And who cares about the dashboard when you get dash?)

Weighing in at a meaty 4,600 pounds, the FX blasted to 60 in 5.2 seconds and blew through the quarter-mile in 13.7 seconds at 102 mph – performance strong enough to run with any Mustang GT.

The penalty, of course, is 14 mpg city, 20 highway – which, I would also point out, is about 1 mpg less than the Mustang's. And what a smooth, easy rush this big guy makes of any freeway entrance ramp. Like the BMW, the Infiniti has quick, tight steering and massive brakes.

I thought the Infiniti's ride was less compliant than the BMW's and its handling a little more fidgety. In tight, fast curves, the FX moves around more than the BMW, resisting being shoved around, I suppose.

But either of these extremists would make easy work of a long summer trip, and if you felt like cutting across a few fields to save some miles and some of Big Oil's $4.30-a-gallon gas, you probably could.

Still, I can't help but wonder what we might have if we removed the all-wheel-drive from these crossovers and cut out 1,500 pounds of fat. Two superb sedans, maybe?

You figure it out, please. I can't.

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