01:04 PM CST on Sunday, November 27, 2005

Donna Fielder

I wasn’t sure why someone would do that or why the woman would call 911 about it, but the visual tickled my fancy, so I picked it out of that day’s reports to include in the blotter.

I write the Police Blotter column every weekday. It lifts my spirits. It’s hard to wallow in self-pity after reading the troubles of everyday people who encounter the most amazing problems and deal with life in the most intriguing ways.

On this holiday weekend, I thought it would be fun to remember some classic blotter items. We can give thanks that these things didn’t happen to us:

1900 block of Lee Street — A woman told police that she believes her neighbor is poisoning her plants.

The woman said her azalea plant died and her crepe myrtle is looking bad. She believes the neighbor must be climbing over her back fence to pour poison on the plants.

3500 block of Briercliff — Officers responding to a fight scene found two extremely bloody men fighting in the street. The officers pulled the men apart, and one of the men passed out. They called for an ambulance.

The second man, who is 45, said they were fighting because the first man, who is 47, was intoxicated and asked the second man’s wife to have sex with him as they were all sitting in the living room just before 10 p.m.

The first man dates the second man’s stepdaughter, according to the report.

The stepdaughter and her mother were both hysterical. The stepdaughter said her boyfriend strangled her when she tried to break up the fight.

The first man had extensive facial swelling and bruising. The second man had fractured knuckles, but claimed he never hit the first man and that the first man’s injuries came from striking the television with his face.

Loop 288 — Denton police officers responding to reports of a naked woman standing beside the road had to struggle with her to get her in the squad car, according to a report.

The 44-year-old woman was carrying a bag full of bottles of beer. She wore only an open flannel shirt and smelled strongly of alcohol.

1800 block of West Oak Street — A neighborhood dispute over zoning is the suspected root of threats a couple received, according to a police report.

The couple said a neighborhood group they belong to is trying to prevent a zoning change. About 2:25 a.m., a vehicle that sounded like a diesel truck drove slowly through the alley behind their house. They heard a loud voice threaten to “kill you and scatter your brains on the sidewalk.”

900 block of North Elm Street — Police arrested a 29-year-old man after his mother said he broke her parrot’s legs.

2300 block of Briar Forest Circle — A woman called police to report her soon-to-be-ex-husband assaulted her with a high-pressure water hose Wednesday.

She told an officer she drove to her husband’s work site because they had not been getting along and she had learned some new curse words in Spanish she wanted to use on him.

Now. The little tiff you and your sister-in-law had after a few slices of rum cake doesn’t seem so bad, does it?

DONNA FIELDER can be reached at 940-566-6885. Her e-mail address is dfielder@dentonrc.com.