All About Steve is annoying, cloying and insulting. Or, to sum it up in one word: pathetic.

Reportedly, Steve has been sitting on the shelf for a while, so bad it had to wait until the end-of-summer movie dump before it could see the light of the projector. But since completion, one of its main stars, Bradley Cooper (The Hangover), has become a hot property, making it feasible to try and lure the unsuspecting into the multiplexes for at least one weekend until word gets out about the film’s utter atrociousness.

20th Century Fox

Sandra Bullock, as Mary Magdalene Horowitz, grates on the nerves of her crush, Steve (Bradley Cooper) — as well as the audience’s — in All About Steve, in theaters Friday.

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Sandra Bullock, one of the forces behind the film being made, stars as Mary Magdalene Horowitz. Bullock’s interpretation of her character, combined with the character itself, is one of the main reasons the film is so irritating.

But many other reasons can also be cited, and although it might be hard to believe any man could resist amorous overtures from the gorgeous Bullock, the crass portrait of the obnoxious Mary Horowitz makes the resistance seem predetermined.

The overly energetic Mary lives at home and works as a cruciverbalist (a person who constructs crossword puzzles) for the Sacramento Herald when her parents (Howard Hesseman and Beth Grant) set her up on a blind date with Steve (Cooper), a cameraman for a local TV station. The idea that Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock need their parents to set them up is as ludicrous an idea as someone making a living today constructing crossword puzzles for a local newspaper.

Immediately, the desperate Horowitz throws herself at Steve, causing him to flee. She misinterprets something he said and hits the road to follow him and his two-man crew of reporter (Thomas Haden Church) and producer (Ken Jeong). As they cover unlikely disasters, she follows them to Tucson, Oklahoma City, Galveston, and on to Colorado.

Mary consistently chatters, spouting out inane bits of information and trivia about every possible subject. Bullock ends almost every utterance with a half giggle, making her increasingly insufferable, stalking character even creepier and more repulsive.

Director Phil Traill, with an assist from Kim Barker’s laugh-free script, shows absolutely no effort to rein in Bullock. Traill telegraphs the many unfunny physical pratfalls and never finds inspiration for other comedy — his idea of wit seems to be having Mary Horowitz wear knee-high red boots throughout the movie. So, the audience is left with a befuddled male being stalked by an obnoxious woman in a story short on believability or charm.

This all-around deficiency of talent results in a romantic comedy lacking in romance and devoid of comedy.

BOO ALLEN is an award-winning film critic for the Denton Record-Chronicle

All About Steve

*

Rated PG-13, 98 minutes.

Opens Friday.