Pam Rainey

When I hear folks talk about what they plan to leave their children, I listen.

Surprisingly, some of them have said they go without necessities so there will a tidy nest egg left when the hearse drives off so the inheritance can be divided among the heirs. Everyone has their own opinion of what the word “inheritance” really means. I respect that.

However, I question the word “inheritance.” Does it mean money and valuables? Or does it mean our favorable lasting memories with our families and friends and a life’s legacy of good will toward our fellow man and our world? Without a doubt, that’s a thought for readers to decide.

At any rate, if you are a baby boomer and are reading this column, you’ve probably accumulated a lot of material items throughout your lifetime. If you tend to be a hoarder, you probably have full closets, attic, garages and rented storage spaces. Have you ever noticed how many storage spaces there are around us? I wonder why we store the things we don’t use.

Some of your possessions may be valuable by the world’s standards. They could be rare paintings, pottery or jewelry. Other collections may be books passed down to you or old letters written by long-lost family members.

But I would venture to say that for most of us, the majority of what takes up our storage and the storage in many warehouses could be categorized as “stuff.” And, as Texans, we do not want anyone to mess with our stuff, do we? End of conversation.

Well, maybe we should rethink our position on “stuff,” decide what should be kept for sentimental reasons and decide what we should toss and what we should give away.

Maybe you feel you are too young to consider scaling down. In her book The Boomer Burden: Dealing With Your Parents’ Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff, Julie Hall writes about some of the sobering consequences of longer life.

“If you are a man, subtract your current age from the number 75. If you are a woman, subtract your current age from the number 80,” she writes. According to national statistics, that’s how much longer you will live.

Yikes. These numbers tell me it is time to think seriously about at least organizing my stuff, or it will be up to my kids. They might have a variety of things to say about what I leave behind, and the most likely will be: “What was Mother thinking when she bought this ugly flower arrangement?” or “Why did she keep all these full-size sheets? She hasn’t had a bed they would fit in years.”

In talking with a friend who is extremely tidy, I learned that if you haven’t worn clothing in six months, you should donate it to charity. Chances are, you won’t wear it again and it probably won’t come back into style.

What’s good about scaling down is that you don’t have to make a decision to do so in one day, and you don’t have to get rid of things you’ve cherished in a short period of time.

If you’ve turned one of your kid’s rooms into a storage room, start there. Begin getting rid of the things you don’t use. We have several charities in our area that will pick up items if you call them.

If you’ve experienced the loss of a spouse or if you and your spouse are rambling around in a big, empty house, it may be time to downsize. But, take your time to think about it after you’ve cleared out the clutter and have decided what you absolutely must keep and what possessions you can part with, then decide what type of housing you want. Relocating is certainly not a decision to make in haste.

Hall has had a lot of experience helping individuals and their families with estate sales, and The Boomer Burden is a good read. She lists many reasons why we should get rid of our own stuff before our children are forced to do it after we’re gone. Some of them are:

* You will experience less time looking for things.

* You will help others in need.

* You will find things you forgot you owned.

* You will protect your kids from ever having to do what you had to do with your parents’ home.

There are other reasons listed, but you’ll have to buy her book to learn all her suggestions.

For me, scaling down means that when the time comes, the inheritance I leave behind may be distributed in an orderly manner. That’s a good legacy worthy of being passed along.

Dear readers: A future column will address seniors remarrying, and the pros and cons of signing a prenuptial agreement. If you would like to share an opinion on this subject, e-mail RpmRny@cs.com.

PAM RAINEY is a 40-year Denton resident and a real estate agent who has helped many seniors make decisions about living arrangements.