The year: 1980. The place: A bedroom that included a doorknob-shaped hole in the wall, a Kool-Aid stain on the carpet and a new AM/FM clock radio. The event: The lowest-quality recording ever of Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust.”

When my first son was born, it was like a magic act. I prepared for the big event, of course, and I knew it was going to happen. But when the moment came, it still felt like some kind of illusion. Ta-dah! … It’s a baby. Well, after last week, I’ve been through it three times. But previous experience didn’t change anything.

As another Super Bowl approaches, it’s time to roll out the predictions. Will the New England Patriots be champs? Will the New York Giants pull an upset? Will a commercial proclaim to change the world with an even cleaner, closer shave? Excellent questions, football fans. But I’m going to start with a question I know I can answer: Will the Super Bowl broadcast include video of a rattlesnake and a cactus?

In a few weeks, my wife and I will welcome our third son into the world. Yes, we’re very excited. But to be clear, and not get elbowed in the ribs, I’ll point out that we’re not pregnant.