If there were laws against furniture abuse, I'd be in jail. All winter long, I leave my patio furniture outside, uncovered, to endure freezing temps, hammering rain, hide-peeling sun and berry-eating bird assaults. Meanwhile I stay warm, dry and sun-protected inside. Then, about this time of year, I expect my outdoor furniture and me to pick up where we left off.

Turns out I have some making up to do.

The cushions take the worst beating – and not all due to laziness, though that's partly to blame. The main reason my cushions languish outside all year is because the time is never right to bring them in. When it's nice out, I don't want to bring them in because it's nice out. I might want to sit outside.

When it's crummy out, I don't want to bring them in because it's crummy out. I don't want to be outside.

When the skies clear, the cushions are wet or snow-covered, and I don't want to bring them in until they dry. So I wait until it's nice again. The cycle continues until we're back to warm weather.

So when I heard that outdoor-furniture makers had started making furniture and fabrics that could withstand this abuse, I got even more excited than I did when Starbucks got drive-through. I felt vindicated.

"Gone are the days of slip-covering outdoor furniture at the end of the season," said Jennifer Litwin, a Sotheby-trained furniture expert and author of Best Furniture Buying Tips Ever! (House of Collectibles, $14.95), who was singing my song.

"Today's outdoor furniture is durable and can withstand cold temperatures, wind, rain and snow," she says. "It's heartier, sturdier and has less chance of rust and deterioration."

In other words, outdoor-furniture makers finally acknowledged that furniture abuse is a way of life.

For furniture abusers this means the price of neglect just got cheaper. If you buy frames and cushions that can weather four seasons, you won't pay the price of replacement every five to seven years.

For next year, I hope someone comes out with self-cleaning furniture – even better than a Starbucks drive-through.

Marni Jameson is a nationally syndicated columnist.

•Use a hose to clean patio furniture. If you need a deeper clean, try a mild solution of dishwashing soap and warm water. Brighten cast-iron and aluminum furniture with car wax. Avoid harsh cleaning solutions. Don't clean patio furniture in the swimming pool. The chlorinated water will degrade the finish.

•To clean straps on vinyl furniture, which get stained with suntan oil, pool chlorine, unfiltered irrigation water and sap, try the same soapy solution. If stains persist, add a couple tablespoons of bleach to a half gallon of the soapy solution. Apply and rinse well. If that doesn't work, increase the strength of the bleach solution. If a 50/50 mix of bleach and soapy water doesn't work, replace the straps. When choosing strap colors, note that darker colors get hotter and fade faster. Light colors wear better. Don't put off replacing old straps. Worn straps break easily, which is embarrassing no matter how much you weigh.

•To clean cushions, beat them to get the dust out, then vacuum them, and wipe them with a damp sponge or rag, says Spooky Apple, spokesperson for Glen Raven, makers of Sunbrella all-weather fabric. To treat spots, mist the spot using a spray bottle filled with a mild laundry detergent solution. Rub the spot with a soft towel or sponge (not a brush). Then mist again with clear water to rinse. For a really bad stain, try a little diluted bleach, after first spot-testing.

•If you can remove cushion covers from their fillers, machine-wash them in cold water using a mild detergent, such as Woolite, and air dry. Don't put cushion covers in the dryer.

•If your cushions get soaked in a spring shower, turn them on their edges, so water runs out the sides, rather than collects. Often cushions that feel dry on the surface have water lurking inside. You don't discover this soggy surprise until 10 minutes after you've sat down.

•If you have a pool, encourage people to use towels. Sparing the furniture from a barrage of suntan oil and chlorine could double its life.

Jennifer Litwin

If squirrels are destroying the cushions on your patio furniture, here are a few options that may deter them:

1. Hot Pepper Wax spray: This is a repellent for insects, but Redenta's also sells it to deter animals. $14.99 for a quart of spray; $18.99 for a pint of concentrate. 2001 Skillman St.; 214-823-9421. If you don't have children or pets, you could also try sprinkling ground cayenne pepper around the chairs.

2. Fox urine: Squirrels don't like it. Don't apply directly to the cushions, but try soaking a rag in it or buy dispensers specifically for the product. It's commonly available at garden centers, but you can also find it at www.provenrepellents.com.

3. A nest-building ball: It's a little larger than a softball, and it holds yarn, dryer lint, cotton from pill bottles and anything else that squirrels and birds use to line their nests. It may keep them from extracting the stuffing from your cushions. $7.99 at Wild Birds Unlimited. Go to www.wbu.com for locations. Home staff